Chairman's Chat

and Green Man Ultra Race Report


Hello everyone. I hope this latest newsletter finds you well. 

A couple of weeks back, I ran in the Green Man Ultra. I think that the Green Man is a fantastic event, especially as it is so close to home. It circuits Bristol and takes through various suburbs and super scenery, all on our doorstep. I'd completed the race two times previously and when it was postponed due to snow last year, I ran it anyway. This year, an as added incentive, there was a belt buckle up for grabs, different colours for those completing "the double" (the Winter and Summer GMU) in sub-18 hours, sub-21 hours and sub-24 hours. Having crossed the finish line in March 2019 with a time of 9hrs 5 minutes, I needed to complete the Summer GMU in less than 8hrs 55 minutes, a push but perfectly achievable especially with 100 miles under my belt from the Conti Thunder Run back in July.

In the lead-up to the race, I decided to do a long recce, the last half of the route. I'd had trouble connecting some of the later footpaths and trails in my mind and I had gone way off-track when I tried to follow the GMU route to work last Summer. The recce went well, I managed to learn the bits I'd wanted to learn but later in the day, I developed a pain in my stomach.

The pain, although not massively painful, it was distracting, uncomfortable and I wasn't happy bending forward as this seemed to make the pain worse. Surely I just had to sit it out and whatever was wrong would eventually disappear. By Friday, the day before the race, the pain and discomfort wasn't any better. I felt bunged up and so I took a trip to Boots for some laxatives which would work in 6-12 hours. With the first dose at around 4.00pm and second, around 8.00pm, I crossed my fingers.

I was up early on race day and the laxatives did what they were supposed to do, several times over. I left for the race feeling distinctly lighter and a great deal more confident about getting round the route. But the pain and discomfort hadn't passed. Still, I just had to get through 45 miles in just under 9 hours to get myself a shiny sub-18 hour belt buckle. We started at 8.00am.

I ran well for the first 15 miles, I felt strong, relaxed and pleased with my progress as the miles ticked by. I arrived at the White Horse in Hambrook ahead of the start of the Green Boy at 11.00am, the 30 mile race also taking place that day (also known as the Children's Race 😉) but then I began to struggle. I walked a bit, I jeffed a bit and I had to stop in a field as the laxatives hadn't quite finished their work. I hoped that the final clear-out would do me some good but alas this was not the case but I kept on plodding forward. Until I ran into a tree. The whack on my forehead from the big hanging branch hurt but I was thankful that I didn't lose any teeth or a bit of my tongue from the impact. 

Passing Shortwood would surely be a good sign; this is where I had joined the route on the Tuesday before and I knew exactly the route and the task at hand - I had covered 22.5 miles in 4 hours and I just needed to repeat the distance to the finish in less than 5 hours. 

Heading through Warmley and onto Bitton, I had a purple patch (nothing to do with the beetroot juice and laxatives I'd had on the Friday) and hit the fields leading to Keynsham at a good clip. As a reward, I took a breather by walking for a mile or so into the checkpoint in Keynsham. I was feeling quite grumpy and this was made worse by the single portaloo at the checkpoint being occupied (Ian Mussell you will never be forgiven) so after the briefest rest, I pressed on. 

I jogged some, I jeffed some, I walked some. I sat on a log in Chewton Keynsham. It was early afternoon, it was hot, my stomach was still uncomfortable. I had kept well-hydrated but I just didn't feel like eating. As a consequence, I felt very low on energy. Progress was slow but I still had outside hopes of a revival and a strong finish. Until the other side of Pensford. The route climbs after the viaduct at Pensford and I didn't have the strength to climb the grassy slope ahead of me so I led down. This felt great but it doesn't bring the race finish any closer. After a few minutes, I pushed on, up the stony track to the airfield, passing a runner who had sat down to vomit (he had a pal with him). I got to the top and had another lie down (in the shade).

When I got going again, I jeffed to the next checkpoint about a mile away, where I had a sit down and a cup of coke. On the beginning of the climb up Dundry, my stomach decided that it didn't like coke and out it came. In the lead up to being sick, one always feels dreadful and soon after the deed is done, one feels a good deal better. Usually. I got moving again but this didn't last long - I found a wall outside a house and sat down. I knew I was now only 6-7 miles from the finish but I had nothing left. I knew I had missed my target of sub-9 and with this the sub-18 hour belt buckle and so I knew I should quit. But I couldn't bring myself to do it - I'd started this bloody race, it was up to me to finish it, no matter how rough and knackered I was feeling.

I got up and dragged myself on up Dundry. When I got to the village of Dundry, a lovely young lady offered me some water - I asked her to throw it down the back of my shirt. I sat on a wall and she talked to me about something - I tried to be polite and talk back but I just wanted to rest. I moved on through the fields at the top of Dundry and began the descent down the other side. I checked my watch - 2% battery. I sat and saved my run and then I led down in the shade. The leaves in the trees were waving gently and I was reminded of the scene in Gladiator where Russell Crowe has visions of wandering through a field of wheat. Runner came past and asked after my welfare. I gave a thumbs up, cracked a lame smile and told everyone I was fine. I rested, I think I may even have dropped off for a few minutes. I think I was lying down for around half an hour. Ok, time to get going again and get the job done. 

I made good progress over the next couple of miles (thanks to gravity, it was mostly downhill). But then, after passing under the A37 just one mile short of Long Ashton, I met some steps that climbed up to a field. I think I managed three or four before I sat down. I apologized to the handful of passing runners for getting in their way but I just didn't have it in me to take another step. I rested then made another attempt on the remaining steps - I think I got halfway before I needed another sit down. What a ridiculous situation! DNF? No, there's a belt buckle up for grabs. I knew I had some time on my side. If I'd missed the sub-18 hour buckle, I had another three hours in which to get the sub-21 hour buckle. Keep moving forward, no matter how bad you feel, no matter how knackered you feel. NB: my miles 41-44 I averaged at 26 mins/mile, not including my lie down.

I concluded that I needed a gel just to give me an energy boost to get me to the finish. It stayed down for a matter on minutes before violently reappearing just before Long Ashton Golf Club. Yes I do work for a rival golf club but no, I wasn't sick on golf club land. A passing dog-walker asked if I needed help, did I have heatstroke? "I'm fine" I said. 

My phone rang as I entered the golf course. It was Anne Burge asking after my well-being. "I'm fine" I said with a whistley croak, just a mile to go". Anne reported that people were worried about me having seen my Strava cut off on Dundry. In addition, I had been reported to the race organisers as being collapsed in a field. "We'll walk towards you and walk you in" said Anne. With a mile to go and a friendly face not far away, I managed to pick up the pace, not a run, not a jog but a determined forward stride. When I met Anne, accompanied by Jack, Emily and Jasper, she held my hand. Such a simple gesture but it meant so much. We walked the final mile together, everyone chatting to keep me focused, Anne still holding my hand. She let go just metres before the line and encouraged me on. Obligatory race completion photo, collect a t shirt and medal and stop. I led down again and Emily brought me a sweet cup of tea. Later, Jack drove me home in my car.


I led down for at least an hour, Anne checking on me and also keeping tabs on the whereabouts of Steve and Danny who were still out on the course; I did manage a round of applause when they crossed the finish line.

Ok, so the above is more "Race Report" than "Chairman's Chat" but here are four things I learnt from the Green Man. 
  • Running increases the production of stomach acid. This is the body getting ready for the additional fuel needed to power you in an endurance activity. I didn't know that my stomach problem was stomach acid/indigestion I could have taken an antacid to clam it down. Post-race and a couple of ranitidine and the problem was gone.
  • For many reasons, don't take laxatives before a race.
  • Know when to quit. Medals, t-shirts, PBs and belt buckles don't mean anything if you are putting your health at risk. I was described as looking like a Prisoner of War when I crossed the finish line. I took me a few days to properly recover. Be sensible and be safe always.
  • Friends are amazing and Anne Burge is an angel - thank you again Anne. X
Next year, the Winter Green Man in March is a Club Championship race. Don't let the above put you off, I believe that most members are capable of completing the race. And if you need anything on race day, let me know, I'll be supporting.